I was thinking how I haven't written for a while and I then I started reading my old posts. I read the one I wrote just one year ago and again I find myself reflecting on the last year and what is to come for this next year. Last year I said I wanted to try to be more honest with myself and to others as well working on continuing to "focusing on the journey and not the destination." I think I made baby steps on being more honest but I still have a ways to go. As for focusing on the journey... I made an attempted and I am not sure if I liked it. Do I feel like I was less stressed this past year? In some ways yes, but I guess I am not sure where the journey I am on is going to take me. I feel like maybe I need to have a destination in mind and then I can focus more on the journey. So at the start of 2011 I find myself at a crossroad, a fork in the road and I am not sure which way to go or what I want my destination to be. Part of me thinks that my destination might have changed.
I have always wanted to be a teacher. I have loved working with kids, and seeing their eyes light up when they learn or discover something new. These last three years I have been a substitute teacher and although I know I am still a teacher it isn't the same. I feel like I am not making the difference in the students' lives as I would like to. The problem is that finding a teaching job or really any job, right now is not that easy especially where I live. Many of the school districts are having to cut teaching positions or if they don't they aren't opening up new positions. I am not sure if this is the same in other parts of the country, but what I have heard a lot of the bigger cities are the same boat. It is making me questions whether I want to continue looking for a teaching position or try another avenue.
I have thought about maybe going to a different level of teaching such as preschool but I am not too excited about working in a daycare again. I have also thought about moving, but to where I don't know. I don't really want to move away from my support system of family and friends, but at the same time maybe I need to. Maybe I need to try living on my own, experience someplace new, a start fresh. I feel like now might be the time to try seeing I don't have a significant other or really anything else tying me down.
This year may be the year of change. Changing my destination in life, changing my location, or ....just changing my thinking. Chang is not always easy and not something I always enjoy but it is a part of life whether I like it or not. I don't know for sure what this new year will bring but ready or not here it comes....Happy 2011!
